Disabled Access

Disabled Access
Originally uploaded by Edward Horsford

Err...really??

Harsh

Harsh
Originally uploaded by Dan Barham

I think that I would be very upset if I were to be clamped!!

Gender Translation Service

THE MANS GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH

• We need = I want

• It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

• Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

• We need to talk = I need to complain

• Sure...Go ahead = I don't want you to

• I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

• You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

• You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

• I'm not emotional! And I'm not over reacting! = I've got my period

• Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

• This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house

• I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

• I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white

• Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

• I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep

• Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive

• How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like

• I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

• Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful

• You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

• Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]

• Yes = No

• No = No

• Maybe = No

• I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

• Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it

• Was that the baby?= Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep

• I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important

• All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

THE ANSWER TO A FEMALE SAYING "WHAT'S WRONG?".....

• The same old thing = Nothing

• Nothing = Everything

• Everything = My PMS is acting up

• Nothing, really = It's just that you're such a pain in the butt

• I don't want to talk about it = Go away, I'm still building up steam

THE WOMEN'S GUIDE TO MEN'S ENGLISH

• "I'm hungry" = I'm hungry

• "I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy

• "I'm tired" = I'm tired

• "Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

• "Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

• "Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

• "May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

• "Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!

• "You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you

• "What's wrong?" = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this

• "What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

• "What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question

• "I'm bored" = Do you want to have sex?

• "I love you" = Let's have sex now

• "I love you, too" = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!

• "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair" = I liked it better before

• "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair" = $50 and it doesn't look any different!

• "Let's talk" = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me

• "Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys

• "I like that one better" (while shopping) = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!!!

The Nth Degree Catalog: Advocacy Shirts

There are some excellent shirts here...the only problem is which one(s)!!

The Nth Degree Catalog: Advocacy Shirts: "SAME STRUGGLE CLOSER LOOKsame struggle shirt image see text description below ORDER IT DESCRIPTION: Black shirt with white handwritten message on front saying 'Same struggle, Different Difference.'"

Some funny quotes to lighten up your day

• Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house." (The Daily Telegraph)

• Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting had a whole salami in her underwear. When asked why, she said it was because she was missing her Italian boyfriend. (The Manchester Evening News)

• Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like. (The Guardian)

• A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coast guard spokesman commented, "This sort of thing is all too common". (The Times)

• At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coastguard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff. (Aberdeen Evening Express)

Building a Tower!

Building a Tower!
Originally uploaded by dissol2.

Mon 09/04/2007 14:08 09042007321 Rob & his pal, DJ building a tall tower. It is built from just wooden blocks (slightly larger than Jenga blocks). It is amazing & pleasing to see just how much fun 'simple' toys such as this can give such pleasure to kids.

Some FAQ's

Very interesting Web Pages:

Some FAQ's: "Why Don't Politicians Ever Tell The Truth?

They do. Every election there are politicians that defy conventional wisdom and tell the plain truth. And every Wednesday after Election Day the papers have a name for them: defeated."

50F degrees
People in southern England turn on the central heating
People in Edinburgh plant out bedding plants

40F degrees
Southerners shiver uncontrollably
Glaswegians sunbathe on the beach at Troon

35F degrees
Cars in the south of England refuse to start
People in Falkirk drive with their windows down

20F degrees
Southerners wear overcoats, gloves and woolly hats
Aberdonian men throw on a T-shirt; girls start wearing mini-skirts

15F degrees
Southerners begin to evacuate to the continent
People from Dundee swim in the River Tay at Broughty Ferry

Zero degrees
Life in the south grinds to a halt
Inverness folk have the last BBQ before it gets cold

Minus 10F degrees
Life in the south ceases to exist
People in Dunfermline throw on a light cardigan

Minus 80F degrees
Polar bears wonder if it's worth carrying on
Boy Scouts in Oban start wearing their long trousers

Minus 100F degrees
Santa Claus abandons North Pole
People in Stirling start eating hot porridge for breakfast

Minus 173F degrees
Alcohol freezes
Glaswegians get upset because all the pubs are shut

Minus 297F degrees
Microbial life starts to disappear
The Cows in Dumfriesshire complain about farmers with cold hands

Minus 460F degrees
All atomic motion stops
Shetlanders stamp their feet and blow on their hands

Minus 500F degrees
Hell freezes over
Scotland wins the World Cup